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Switch Ports you should avoid

Work in progress... These won't all be terrible ports but certainly not good enough ones. let's begin with the metro 2033 and last light ports. While these are very good games the dynamic lighting is completely absent from these ports (understandably so, the Switch doesn't have the processing grunt of the 360/ps3 era).The downgraded visuals just aren't good enough without that lighting: robbing the game of its ambiance and atmosphere, even on the small screen. Demon Turf: this is a small indie game so it's probably unfair to bad mouth this game for it's bad draw distance but it bugs me. The control isn't great either, the biggest problem with the game is the infuriating checkpoint system. I have a soft spot for 3D platformers and 3D enviroments with 2D sprite characters too, so the fact that i still didn't like this really says something. This is mostly a dislike of the game itself, then the port but I'm not putting more money into this game to find

Keith Courage in Alpha Zones

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It’s become popular to hate on this game, I’m not really sure why. The worst you can say about this game is it only pretty good. It has nice graphics, good music and it’s gameplay is fun. Good but definitely not great. You can’t do much better on the turbo for $15 these days. If you’re wondering why this isn’t on the mini consoles it’s because this was based on an anime license in Japan. With all the praise crap like dungeon explorer and legendary axe get its mystifying why people don’t like this, maybe my nostalgia is skewing my opinion but I highly recommend this game. Pro tip: you have to grind for coins, any time any enemy drops one back track until they respawn and they’ll drop a second coin when you dispatch them (from the second Keith level on). While it’s not on the same level as the best action games for the TG16 (ninja spirit, the bonks) give it a try, it’s much more enjoyable than these other reviews give it credit for. B Retro Raider

Blue Fire (Switch)

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What a wonderful game this is. This one really came out of left field and it's such a pleasant suprise. Imagine a cross between Wind Waker and a 3D celeste and that should give you a good idea what Blue Fire is like. Aside from some confusing hub world design and the difficulty spike around 6-7 hours in this is a very robust first game from Robi Studios. Equal parts action, platforming and exploration, coupled with solid character design this game is a pleasing stew of it's various inspirations. A very good port from PC, especially the control, it feels like it was developed for the system. That is how well it controls. The mix of effervescent platforming and sticky action will suck you into this game. This is a fantastic indie and i now have high expectations for this devs next game. Don't hesitate to buy this game, if you see it on sale snap it up immediately. A- CRX

Bashing stuff with a shovel

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A friend asked me to do this review so lets talk about Shovel Knight one of the quintessential indie games of the last 14 years. Shovel Knight is a near perfect experience that now encompasses 4 seperate game modes that have been added one by one by Yacht Club Games over the years. My first experience with SK was at a Gamestop Vita kiosk. I played the demo for 8-10 mins and absolutely loved it. I asked the Gamestop employee if they had it in stock and he told me it was download only, I immediately went home bought it and downloaded it to my Vita. Now I said this game is almost perfect, before i get into why it's great, let's mention what sucks about the game. The chip tune music blows, it's just terrible, I never listen too it because i hate it so. With that out of the way let's get to everything thats great about the game: the graphics, the tight responsive gameplay and the petfectly tuned difficulty (in shovel of hope at least, specter of torments boss fights are br

The Hiddenest of Xbox Gems

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Tork is a little known, almost forgotten, terribly underated platformer for the OG Xbox. Birthed into the world after a torrid developemnt cycle that would see it dropped by Ubisoft, then flounder at another publisher (Microsoft), get dropped by them and then picked back up by Ubisoft to be released for a budget price (the tidy sum of $20). Tork is certainly worth a thorough perusing. Developed by first time developer Tiwak, it was their one and only game (joining Voodoo Vince in this regard). Tork is, sort of, the 128 bit Bonk we never got. Starting off in pre-historic times all of Tork's fellow villagers and family are kidnaped by Mr. Evil Bad Guy. It's up to Tork to fight and platform his way through the winding stages to get to them. I really like this game and i don't think it ever got a chance to show enough people how good it is. However there are a few quibbles here and there. The game is tough, especially as it seems it was aimed at kids. The game is rightly criti

Batman (Gameboy)

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> Batman for the OG Gameboy is my all time favorite Gameboy game. Brought to us by Sunsoft, it sits in good company with alot of the early Gameboy games. It was with the GB Color and the Wii systems that Nintendo would become synonomous with shovelware and lots of crappy games, the early years on the GB were full of great content. I also think I was lucky to have a brother, four years my senior, who had good taste in games. For whatever reason there have been alot of good Batman games over the years from Batman Returns for the Game Gear, to the Gunstar Heroes-ish The Adventures of Batman and Robin for the Genesis (best co-op game on the system and a personal favorite) and the mostly excellent Rocksteady Batman games. Batman has long been a bastion of quality. This game features unparrelled level design perfect for speed running, a great litle weapon system and variety in the form of horizontal shooter levels. Interesting Bosses and perfect enemy placement combined with a near perfe
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Viva la Vita I finally picked up the PlayStation Vita before I went on vacation last year and wow am I blown away by this little bad boy. The thing just kicks all kinds of ass. It fixes almost all of the PSP's short comings while offering the best on the go core gaming experience on the market. (although I'm sure the Switch will have something to say about that in the future) The Original model is just fantastic: Proper analog sticks, plus smaller, better buttons, a great D-pad, OLED wonderfulness, front and rear touchscreens. Amazing graphics and a good selection of games. Uncharted, Borderlands 2, Killzone, Unit 13, Jet Set Radio, The Unfinished Swan, Sly Cooper Theives in time, LittleBigPlanet, Rayman, Tearaway. Then there's the smaller, mostly 2D goodness: Fez, Risk of Rain, Super Meat Boy, Steam World Dig, Guacamelee, Velocity 2x, Soldner X 2, Sound Shapes, Bastion, Mutant Blobs Attack, Resogun and SHOVEL KNIGHT. God, Risk of Rain and Shovel Kinght are total revel
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                               Why is Vexx (for O.G. Xbox) a better game than Rayman 3? Well let's investigate shall we; about a year ago I bought both of these games at the same time on Ebay and Vexx happened to arrive a few days before Rayman.  Having liked the original and Rayman 2 I was looking foward to Rayman 3 more. My expectations for these two games were based on their reviews from my favorite magazine: Play(US) formerly Gamer's Republic. (well favorite until I discovered Retro Gamer anyway) The Review for Vexx was done by Dave Halverson known to long time readers as far to generous to crap games. He raved about it and awarded it a 4.5/5. While the review for Rayman 3 was done by Brady Feitcher, known to long time readers as a lover of FPS's, he gave R3 a B+ but it was clear from his review that he was disappointed by it and thought it was nowhere near as good as Rayman 2. I immediately started playing Vexx a lot and compulsively, which is not something that
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A Review for a modded Sega Saturn A modded Sega Saturn is a system that can play CD-Rs with ROMs burned onto them. I got one from someone advertising it on the net, He did it for around $65 ($24 of that was shipping it back and forth) the PCB board itself only cost $38 if you have a soldering gun and know how to use it. If you want to buy a Saturn and mod it, I would recommend buying some cheap games first as your unlikely to fork over cash for stuff when you can get it for free. Good sites to download from are emuparidise.com,(Best) doperoms (malware free but not a great selection) coolroms.com (full of spyware but good selection). I can't recommend doing this enough as too many of the best Saturn games are infuriatingly expensive, especially if you already have a Saturn but are missing out on classics like Radiant Silvergun, Soukygurentai, Guardian Heroes, Panzer Dragoon Saga and oh so many more. The prices for most of the best imports and complete domestic releases is fucki
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                                                              Motocross Maniacs (GB) Why is Motocross Maniac's for the humble little yellow and green wonder so fuckin good? Well for starters it plays like a Dr. Frankenstein mash up of racer and a platformer, it has great visuals with splendid animation that conveys just the right amount of kinetic motion (without a wasted pixel), it's freaking fun and it's pretty goddamn  long with 24 tracks of dirt bike chicanery . (oh and it's challenging too, providing extra hours of game play) Then you have the ability to select any track at anytime; making it perfect to pick up and play or put down, all day long. Then you have the power ups scattered vertically all around the tracks. Sometimes slowing you down, providing you with more nitro than you''ll ever need, or giving you more time you desperately need. Ah, the time limit, adding suspense and frustration in equal measure. Add to all this terrific level design

Fodder for filling in the corners of your Ps2 collection

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                                                       HaVen: Call of the King First let's begin by analyzing the, mostly awful, character design: We have the red headed main character sporting cornrows and a yo-yo as a weapon whose design is quite good (aside from the yo-yo as a weapon thing, which is frustratingly fiddly can't hit what you aim at, thoroughly lame, goddamn freaking yo-yo) and then there's every one else in the game. While the ancillary models are dreadful and strangely their super deformed while the two leads are proportional. These two, as well as the tinker owl, mark the high point of another example of appalling American character design, worthy of joining the infamous ranks of anything put out by Midway or Acclaim at the time; which is to say it is spectacularly poor. Moving on, the bulk of the gameplay is of the action-platform variety which is something I thoroughly enjoy and it is quite good despite some tacked on for diversity's sake hover

Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg

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What's Sonic Team's best game? Sonic 2, Nights, Sonic Adventure, Sonic heroes ? Sonic CD, OK it's definitely not Sonic CD. The definitive answer, for me,  is the GameCube's hidden gem: Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg. The GameCube game I played the most by far back when it came out, Billy Hatcher is wonderfully inventive and joyously playful with the only negative being the gratingly annoying sound design. These annoying sound effects were, unfortunately, symptomatic of Sega games at the time. Dashing, jump slamming, and throwing the giant eggs just hasn't gotten old. This game just makes me smile, zooming and swinging through the giant hoops, hatching rare items, slaloming around hazards, fighting baddies: this is Sonic Team humming at top gear. The graphics still look great especially the vibrant color palette. This is inventive, compelling and time tested gaming that may have disappeared from today's consoles but is not forgotten, not yet anyway. A-

The holy grail of Dreamcast gaming

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Super Magnetic Neo (DC ) Why is Super Magnetic Neo my favorite game of all time? Well, for nostalgic reasons mostly: it was my favorite Dreamcast game and for a long time the Dreamcast was my favorite console. It is a 3D platformer and those are my favorite genre, it stands tall in a generation crowded with good to freaking great games.(Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg, Mario Sunshine, Voodoo Vince, I-Ninja, Vexx, Tork, Sonic Adventure 1 and Heroes, Sly Cooper and the Theivius Racoonus, Ratchet and Clank 2 and 3, Jak and Daxter, as well as Daxter [PSP]) But mostly I still love it so much because it keeps pulling me back, something the exceptional Rayman 2 unfortunately has not done. First things first Neo is HARD as fucking nails, especially the last 40% of the game. Something that obviously caused the nancy boy who reviewed it for IGN to give it an unfair 6.9. Just head over to Youtube to get a glimpse of the bright, vibrant visuals and the wonderful score. What that won't tell